Got the Blues...

So my boyfriend (a.k.a. my muse/Alpha Nerd/Geek-boy/cuddlemonster) is 5 hours away for the next few days at a conference, and I miss him SO much already even though he only left yesterday. And brooding and listening to depressing music isn't working like it did when he went to Greece for a week. :(

I've been feeling really confrontational as well. I almost got into a fight yesterday afternoon (in the middle of physics class, no less) after he left.

Aaaand my brother's failing history so now my mom is yelling at him because he won't graduate if he doesn't pass the course. Fun times. I hate this house sometimes.

Whoops...

Okay, so the beau and I are gonna go shoot some pool tomorrow, and since I live really close I invited him over for dinner after because he was planning to buy food there and it's ridiculously expensive ($5 for fries???) and I couldn't let him do that. But what totally slipped my mind is that there are other people in this house so it'll involve him meeting the fam. Joy. My younger brother may or may not sit on his head, my older brother's bound to be in some mood or another, and my mom is going all clean nazi on us like she does every time anyone comes near the house. I make bad decisions.

Noooooo

And my life was so wonderfully drama-free :(

So the whole relationship deal has brought about a couple complications. The first was when my best friend (a guy) started acting kind of strange shortly after my boyfriend and I started dating. Our first guess that neither of us really wanted to consider was jealousy, whether of my boyfriend specifically or just the fact that two of his friends were in a relationship and he wasn't. After some fighting and some alienation between me and my best friend, my boyfriend stepped in and talked to him about it, convinced him it wasn't worth ruining his friendship with me over, and got us to make up. Things are still a little uneasy, I guess, but we're both past the bad-moodiness that arose from the situation.

That being oh-so-recently solved (and to think, last night I thought to myself "there. Drama gone, everyone happy, life good."), today cute girl who called me sexy at the dance? Came up and started yelling at me for not telling her I was dating someone. She brought up having called me sexy and having danced with me while he was right there, which is kind of making me wonder. Mostly because I was already wondering about all that while she was doing it considering she knew I'm into girls, but having assumed she knew I had a boyfriend, I figured she was just really cool about it. But today she seemed almost hurt at one point, and me being my inquisitive self, I'm kind of wondering whether it's more than just her being hurt that I didn't tell her (which, in my defence, was because we don't really know each other all that well or talk to each other all that much and I wasn't exactly running down the halls announcing it to everyone). And now I'm confused in so many ways.

And so continues the drama. This had better not keep up or I'm becoming a hermit.

:D

So semi formal last night went great. It was your typical high school dance, they played generic rap/pop most of the time, there were a few couples grinding in the middle and everyone else just kind of moved awkwardly. They only played two slow songs, though. It's understandable because when one comes on 95% of the single people there leave the room in droves, but still. The first one was still a little awkward, which means me and my date only really got one dance :( It was a great dance, though. And a cute girl called me sexy :D

But whoever invented heels should be shot. Shot, dismembered, lit on fire, reincarnated, then stabbed to death with a spork. Starting with the fleshy areas. I barely made it from the school to the car, my feet hurt so much by the end of the night. And I'm pretty sure I got felt up in the crowd trying to get to coat check. But other than that, there was awesomeness abound.

What have I gotten myself into...

So, friend guy who convinced me to go to the dance? No longer just a friend. Now I have a date, and a dress (the shopping for which actually wasn't too traumatic, and even though I gave my friend a hard time I appreciated her help), and shoes, which are heels, which I will fall over in many, many times. And it doesn't help that they hurt like a bitch. When I told my friend as much, she said "that means they fit, get them".

Luckily, boyfriend (?) guy (not quite sure what we are yet) has graciously accepted being put on "catch Michelle when she starts to fall over" duty. Because he's awesome. We're in for a crazy relationship, because half our conversations consist entirely of verbal sparring, and when we're not fighting each other we'll probably be taking over the world, but he's sweet.

Damn it...

I've been bullied into going to semi formal. Yesterday morning my friend jokingly suggested I go, and then during lunch another friend (a term I'm starting to question where he's concerned...) decided to bring the subject back up. Anyway, those two and another friend decided to start getting on my case about it. A lot. The first friend, her pestering wasn't really that effective considering it was making me want to not go just to spite her. The second guy was just pissing me off. The third guy, however, managed to rise above their shortcomings.

He was all puppy dog eyes and "you should go" and making me feel all wanted and crap. It was settled when he left for a minute and handed me a ticket to the dance when he got back. And now I'm scheduled for a shopping trip (*insert revolted shudder here*) with the first friend. Which will probably involve some talking. Which will probably lead to friend #3 and the so-called "sexual tension" between us (yesterday we said something about how we were talking to each other on MSN on Valentine's day and ended up insulting each other the whole time, and one guy said "maybe it's because of all the sexual tension between you two". Needless to say, everyone burst out laughing and I almost choked on a bite of apple. It's especially annoying because that little observation was pretty much the only thing he said for the whole lunch break).

Warm fuzzies

So today I kinda sorta came out to an...acquaintance, I guess...of mine. She knows I'm romantically interested in a girl, so she's probably assumed I'm gay, I suppose, but whatever. She'll probably try to use the information against me in the war over my middle name me and a friend of mine (who happens to be very close friends with this acquaintance) are in, but I really couldn't care less if anyone finds out and the girl already knows. So it's all good, because I think I threw her off guard by just coming out and telling her when she asked me who I have a crush on, and because she just replied "cool" without missing a beat and went along with her business (she'd only stopped to pump me for information, anyway*), which gave me warm fuzzies. I'm now seriously considering coming out to my friends one at a time just to make sure I prolong the people-are-okay-with-me-not-being-straight warm fuzzies as long as possible.

*Uh oh, naughty mental images of her pumping me for other things. Yes, the itch is still there...

Oh, hell

The main reason for the title is that I've got a major itch that needs scratching, and no one to scratch it. I'm sure most of my guy friends would be all too happy to oblige, but then things would be weird and also they're all kind of far too socially awkward to get that far. Besides, in my neverending cycle of preferring either guys or girls a bit more, I'm not exactly jonesing to drive stick at the moment, if you get my drift. I blame Eliza Dushku. Anyway, I'm probably just going to have to sit it out, which sucks, because I know too many good-looking straight girls for my own sanity.

On the upside, today was a snow day. Okay, more like a freezing rain day. During which it didn't rain once. But the yellow buses were cancelled, and even though I take a city bus I still decided to stay home. It's not like anything interesting happens, anyway. And most of my friends weren't there, so I would've been bored out of my skull. I made good use of the time, though. Failed at recording "This Lullaby" because my brother took both capos to school, tried to record just vocals on "Let It Be" but didn't quite get it down pat. I got some interesting (if slightly profane) bloopers out of it, though.

And I was bored, so I went a little overboard on the labels...man, one day I'm gonna go to stick a really weird one in and see that I've already used it before. I think I'll die laughing.

A while ago, my mom brought up the government and how she thinks the coalition will toss Harper the first chance they get and an election will be called. I don't really care anymore, I mean, it's all gone to shit anyway, and people who don't know what they're talking about have made it out to be worse than it is, and ended up making it worse than it is. But what caught my attention was how she said "screw it, I'll just go out and vote for Harper".

She sees a logical choice: she doesn't want the liberals to win, the NDP don't have a chance, and another minority government would only screw itself over again. I see her going out of her way to support the man who stands against everything I stand for. He's anti-gay, and even though he hasn't brought it into the House of Commons since he first brought the issue up, it's still his personal stance and I'm still personally against that. And then there's the fact that "ordinary people don't care about the arts". He spawned God only knows how many message board comments of "he's right, artists should stop whining and get real jobs".

But my mom never really got how much I hate his guts. He's one of the last people I want in charge of the country. It doesn't help that she's just holding a grudge against the liberals for no reason, either. Their main problem was Dion, and he's out of the picture now. She doesn't know anything about their new guy and doesn't care enough to try to find anything out.

It hurts that she just doesn't seem to care.

You learn something new every day...

Or in today's case, two new things:

1) Playing guitar naked makes it twice as fun.

2) DON'T play guitar naked in the middle of winter. Muscle spasms totally ruin said fun.

...that is all.